Devoid

Saturday, October 13, 2007:

I think I have died and gone to hell
The world swirls around me in a million colors and sounds
And I am totally unaffected
Immune to reality
Cut off from the most basic tenants of life
Emotions are not in my armory
Happiness, sadness, joy, and pain all seem to elude me
And every day I just hope that it's not a permanent predicament
An impossibly deep hole I have dug myself into
Between the years of self deprecation and social estrangement
Perhaps I have lost or broken some essential part of me
Perhaps it cannot be repaired or replaced
Plus, I'm pretty sure that no one can help me
Nothing can save me
From the impending doom of mediocrity
Expanding into the years ahead of me
I long for a rift in this empty void
Even a precipice leading to more endless nothingness
Anything would be better than this feeling of complete emptiness
Chris // 10/13/2007

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